dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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