i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
