Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
