how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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