i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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