would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
