so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
