on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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