She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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