I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
