do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
