I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
