you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
