He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Shame is for Republicans.
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