Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
