I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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