Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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