Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
