It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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