he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
