Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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