I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
