he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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