Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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