look no pants
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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