I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Who wears a wallet chain?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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