i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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