The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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