he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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