you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
