from now on my penis is your penis
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
