Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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