he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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