how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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