Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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