with your own penis?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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