I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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