when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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