if you like me you must not know who I am
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
