We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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