Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
