I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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