He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
