So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
