i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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