Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
