All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
