the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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