i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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