Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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