i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
