The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
