I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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