You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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