You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just found a bag of teeth...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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