Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
