Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
