You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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