What a fucking waste of an outfit
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
