you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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