He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
