Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
