There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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