so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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