im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
