i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
