People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
