so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
