i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
