I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize