I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
